A Decade of Resilience… 151106 – ~cpj

November 6th, 1993 was the day I lost my Mom to cancer… she was 54, and I was 21.  This year, I will have lived more of my life without her than I did with her… and as I reach my mid 40's, I now have the ability to look back and appreciate (with peace, understanding and maturity) what she did for me and my family as she was literally fighting a battle against a disease that was killing her.

I was a sixth grader when my Mom was very sick with breast cancer.  Back then we didn't really know what we know now, and as a young kid, I didn't really understand the severity of what my Mom was dealing with.

I tried to be a good kid, keep my room clean, help out around the house, etc… but as sick as my Mom was with her radiation and chemo, I never remember her complaining or asking for help with the laundry, cooking or cleaning up around the house.  My clothes were always clean and folded, and breakfast was always there for me in the morning.  Looking back, it amazes me how she did it.

There was one day when she came home from the hospital, and there was a lot of joy, tears and true love in our home when she announced to us that she was in remission.  At the time, I had no idea what that meant… all I knew was that Mom was better.

She started to exercise more… she would go for long walks with her friends in the neighborhood, and she would often choose to walk our dog with my Dad every night (instead of asking me to do it!).  I realized during that time in her remission that we started having a lot more fresh fruit and veggies in the house, and she definitely was paying attention to what she was eating and how she was living.  Looking back, I understand that she was building resiliency. 

She was in remission through my high school years, but during my senior year, we got the news that cancer was back in town.  This time it was in her bones… her hip and shoulder.  Now I am 18… a bit more mature than a sixth grader, and I have a bit of knowledge about what's going on with my Mom.  But with that said, I was a selfish teenager who totally believed that there was no way cancer was going to take my Mom from me… and many times I failed in being helpful because of my busy life as an 18 year old kid.  For the next 3 years, she fought for her life as cancer moved into her spine, up her spinal cord and into her brain.

1983 to 1993 is what I call her decade of resiliency.  She never failed to be a Mother, a Wife, a Teacher, a Friend… even when cancer took her ability to speak and walk, she remained steadfast in her role as a loving parent, dedicated spouse and loyal friend.

We talk a lot about creating resiliency at the shed, and for good reason!  It is a great mission!  I know that my Mom fought off cancer as long as she did because she was resilient, and there was a lot of love around her.  I can look back now and have a deeper understanding and appreciation for creating that for myself and anyone who chooses to come to me for training, help or guidance.  Is it easy?  No!  Do we fail a lot?  Sure!  But the mission is on course, and I will forge ahead with the intent to be happy and have a lot of love in my life… and all in hopes that the good I strive to create for myself can bring good to those around me.

I know I am not the only person in the world who lost a parent to cancer, so I don't share this story looking for sympathy… instead, it's a great example of what love can create for a person… a great story of resiliency.

It sucks not having a Mom to go visit, or a Nana for my girls to share time with… but it's my job to make sure her love still lives on within me, and to keep her legacy alive with stories, pictures and visits to her final resting place.  In essence, I am striving to be resilient, as she was for me, my sister and my Dad.

I used to call her "Mamba Jamba", and I would give her a big squeeze!  She would roll her eyes at me and let out a little laugh.  

Miss you Mamba Jamba!

Thanks for all the love, and your decade of resilience!